Back by popular demand…

I’m tired of hearing “Where’s your ‘About’ page MJ? I need to know the intricate details of your life history if I am to be a proper stalker!”

Well, here ya go boys and girls … stalk away!

1966: Born a navy brat in So. California.

1968: Parents divorced and Mom moved us back to her home state of Michigan.

1969: Fell out of a car window onto my head. Unlike most kids from broken homes, I tend to cite this incident as the primary source of most of my problems.

1970: At the ripe old age of four I had my first experience downhill skiing. I’ve been a two plankin’ powder junkie ever since.

1975: Denny Helman (that bastard) tripped me during recess and I split my head wide open, losing copious amounts of blood. The wound required over 35 stitches. After I recovered I kicked his ass.

1976: The bicentennial year. I dressed mostly in red, white and blue. Specifically, blue Kedsâ„¢, red Tough Skinsâ„¢ and a white fife and drummer t-shirt. Every day. It rocked.

1979: Almost kissed a girl.

1980: Went to the UK for 2 months with my church choir. Studied music in Scotland. I’m a contralto.

Fall 1981: Being a bit of a rabble rousing tomboy, I went off to boarding school.

Spring 1982: Being a bit of a rabble rousing tomboy, I was expelled from boarding school.

Fall 1982: Being a bit of a rabble rousing tomboy, I went off to an alternative boarding school. Had to repeat my sophomore year.

1984: Almost kissed a girl.

1985: Graduated from high school. Mom remarried, got a wonderful step dad and step sister out of the deal. Taught myself how to play guitar for the same reason everyone does - to get chicks. It worked. I finally kissed a girl. And then some. Despite my parents pleadings that I attend the best university in the world, I took off to the great north woods, eh? Met my very good bud, Mopsa there.

1986: Didn’t last long up north, moved back to mid-michigan and went to community college with every other local yokel I used to know… Went to my first Grateful Dead show which would drastically change my life for the next 5 years.

1988: Loaded up the truck with all of my earthly possessions and a girlfriend and headed west to California.

1988 - 1990: Kind of a blur. Touring with the Dead… I should be dead. Lots of whisky, women and song… Bought a motorcycle (mom still doesn’t know). Started singing and playing guitar in smokey bars around San Francisco.

1991: Got my shit together. Met the love of my life. Started getting serious about college.

1995: Finally got my BFA. Got married. Got a job. Bought a house. Look at me! I’m all growed up!

1995-1998: On the fast track in SF - doing the DotCom dance.

1988-1999: Started Ye Olde E-Fishwrape as an email courtesy to friends.

1999: The missus and I bought a “fixer” in Palm Springs. Began renovations involving lots of power tools. Woof.

2000: Fed up with city livin’ - loaded up the truck with all my earthly possessions (that didn’t make it onto the professional moving van this time around), a wife and 3 cats - headed down south. Finished fixing up the house. Started my own company.

2004-2005: The missus and I bought the shit hole across the street (aka “little crack acres”) and spent a year tearing it apart and putting it back together. Sold it for a handsome profit.

2005-Present: Still living large and loving life in the land where palm trees sway. Still doing my own thing, playing guitar and kissing girls.

Yup. Life is good…