Archive for May, 2003

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Friday, May 30th, 2003

[ed.note: this entry written after a cross country flight and far too much Jack Daniels. I reserve the right to delete it in the morning...]

It’s raining. God, I haven’t heard rain in… well, long enough to forget how great it sounds. But now I’m hungry for weather… I want thunder, yeah, and lightning… the big crack and boom. That’s weather right there, good stuff. But for now just the sound of rain falling and the occasional -drip- as it falls from the eaves… that’s enough.

I can hear the trains as they roll by. I remember those trains from my youth. There is something so comforting hearing them roll by in the middle of the night , loaded with steel. It sounds cliche but I can tell by the distance of the lonesome whistle what street they are crossing. This blue collar town, in the middle of the rust belt, how I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out, now as an adult, it’s all so sentimental.

Back in my room. Well, not my room anymore.

I won’t get into very much detail about the flight back except to mention an interesting encounter at TGIFridays during my layover. Some fucked up guy, not drunk fucked up, some other kind of fucked up, decided that he wanted the woman sitting next to me at the bar. She = pretty, blonde, alone.

So he came over and just stood there. All creepy and way to close like. Not saying a word. He was nicely dressed in a suit, but had that “I’m middle management sales and I hate my life” kinda look about him… When I asked if I could help him with something he just blankly stared at me and pointed at the woman as if to say.. “How much for the girl?” I just stared back at him in disbelief. Thankfully, after about 2 minutes of “way too close creepy staring guy” an employee saw what was going on and dragged him away. So I struck up a conversation with pretty lady.

(Hey, gimme a break. After creepy guy, I had an opening that might have led to another hole punched in my mile high club card okay?)

Me: “That was wierd”
Pretty Lady: “Yeah, I’ll say”

Turns out the pretty lady sitting next to me was on my flight to small town USA and we went to the same junior high, small world yada yada… I escorted her to our gate and discovered that our flight was delayed. So I invited her back to the bar thinking that creepy guy had to be gone by now, only to walk up and see him being led to one of those glorified golf carts by two TGIF employees. That guy is going to wake up tomorrow and wonder why the hell he’s not in Buffalo.

Note to self: No matter how bad life gets, don’t take two xanax and go to TGIFridays at an airport and have 3 beers. No good can come from it, except you might get a ride in one of those carts!

Did I mention the graduation party down the street tonight where my mom decided to stand at the end of the driveway staring the kids down? Love that!

TGImp3F

Friday, May 30th, 2003

Gonna kick off my shoes and run in bare feet where the grass and the dirt and the gravel all meet. Going back to the well gonna visit old friends and feed my soul… Where the Blacktop Ends

I know, I’ve been on a country kick the past couple of weeks…sue me. See you in 10 days. I’m outta here.

It’s an eBay world

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

And we’re just livin’ in it.

I made a joke today in an email to Natalie about the fact that my BlogShares portfolio had now grown to 4.1 Million **Pretend** Dollars and wondered if perhaps it was something I could sell on eBay.

Guess What

Key-Rist. People will buy anything. Check that. People will SELL anything. Hmmm… who couldn’t use an extra $50…

Aiyaiyai…

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

Trying to get ready to leave town for 10 days is a BITCH. I have so much work (work work) to settle up on, laundry to do and errands to run before tomorrow morning. It’s a bit overwhelming. I’m always afraid I am going to totally forget something and I’ll only remember once I’m on the plane somewhere over Colorado. Damn it. Oh well, that’s what FedEx is for I guess.

So with all of this to do, what am I doing instead? Sitting here procrastinating by farting around on the online and posting silly links to my blog. My friends wife is right… Blogging is stupid. But ya know what? Stupid is as stupid does… Oooooh, looook… updated blogs! I wonder what’s going on over at Head Rush.

Pick your own M&M colors!
via the missus

Yet another golf game

Pointless Penguins click and drag to make the peguins dive into the water. Don’t ask, I don’t know why.

I am 30.96647% - Total Geek. Man, I thought I was geekier than that… Take the Geek Test. All the cool geeks are doing it…

4 months of finding shade

Wednesday, May 28th, 2003

It’s hot. Motherfucking 114º hot. Someone tell me again why, of all the beautiful places on this earth, I’ve chosen the devils anteroom? In 10 minutes I have venture out onto the surface of the sun and attempt to operate a vehicle that’s been baking in the driveway all day. Where the hell did I put those oven mitts?

I can’t wait for Friday. I’m off to the beautiful Great Lakes for 10 days. It’s only 78º there. Hell that’s practically sweater weather!

In honor of our first 110+ day, an oldie but a goodie…

You know it’s summer in the desert when:

– Your car overheats in the driveway
– Someone wearing oven mitts while driving is clever
– A swamp cooler is not a happy hour cocktail
– Vehicles with open windows automatically have the right of way
– You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car
– The pool is warmer than you are
– You can make sun tea instantly
– People with black cars or who have black upholstery must be from out-of-state or nuts
– The best parking place is determined by shade instead of by distance
– You can finish a Big Gulp in 5 minutes and go back for seconds
– The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one
– You burn your hand opening the car door
– Less than 30 SPF is a joke and you wear it just to go into the Circle K
– “But its a dry heat” is received with as much enthusiasm as “but she’s got a great personality”

I’ve lost my marbles

Tuesday, May 27th, 2003

Amazing Marble Machine

Marble Madness

Idle hands are the devils workshop…

Monday, May 26th, 2003

This weekends Too Much Time on Your Hands Award goes to… Me!

Presenting, Cleaning Mambo
2MB Quicktime Movie

Moral dilemma

Saturday, May 24th, 2003

Is it wrong to use your neighbors wireless network if yours is down? I don’t even think he’s up yet…

TGImp3F

Friday, May 23rd, 2003

Three days without punchin’ a time clock, three nights going non-stop. No work and all play. I don’t have to be me ’til Monday… make that Tuesday.

Friday Linkfest

Friday, May 23rd, 2003

Jenny the Yorki in Pool Patrol. Be afraid… be very afraid!

Mmm More Pie! Pie Eating Contest Can you finish the pie in 15 bites?

Gaytrix Reloaded What a total rip off of Queer Duck! And not nearly as funny (imho).

Your All Gay Isn’t is supposed to be “spelt” Euro Gay? Oh piss off…

I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism Very funny cyber…
via murphys law

Hey! You! Get offah my Cloud!

Art or Crap? You think you know yer art, eh picasso? Give it a go…
via b3ta

Ah, the dreaded Comic Sans - bane of every graphic designers existence.
via b3ta