Train Wreck
Sheesh - What happened to my Niners last night? Just because it doesn’t matter doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play the friggin game to win! [shaking head] - At least I have a several good bowl games to look forward to tomorrow. Mmmm Chili, Beer and Bowl Games. Life is good. A few of my picks for tomorrow: Michigan, NC State, Penn State, Washington State, Georgia.

Ice Cream and Pizza
Are still in the lead - 2 new fridges added this morning. Now I just have to figure what what we’re going to do with all this damn food!

All I ask is a 10% finders fee
There could be a New Years Bonus waiting for you. Every state has an unclaimed property search on the controllers website. Go to google and enter unclaimed property [state in which you live]. Does it work? Is this for real? Let’s just say the Fishwrap Household is looking forward to the added jingle jangle in our pockets. Your welcome.

Happy New Year - Jail Sucks
I’m not gonna quote stats and shit - you already know what I am talking about. If you choose to go out tonight, don’t be fucking stupid. There will be plenty of other stupid people already out there. If you really need something else to convince you not to drink and drive, why not take a tour of a Florida Jail Cell. That should cool your Oz fantasies.

Have a blast - Getting flippin blotto for all I care, I probably will. Just pass the keys, call a cab or if you live in Southern California, AAA is once again sponsoring the Tipsy Tow. They’ll tow your car home for free. 1-800-400-4AAA

Survey Says…

Pizza and ice cream are apparently the preferred snacks of bloggers. Thanks to those of you participating in the Web Fridge Project. An intriguing and relatively pointless peek into the real lives and eating habits of my fellow bloggers. Keep those pics coming!

Surf’s Up

I don’t know if this German workplace safety video would be funnier if I understood German or not. Poor Klaus. He just can’t get it right. warning: blood and guts - not for the weak stomached

Another silly timewasting flash game Snowglobe Simon

This has been making the rounds today Star Wars Origami.

Before and After Plastic Surgery warning: boobs

Your Web Zen for the day: Fly Guy.

I’m fascinated by the concept of a Web Fridge Project via Farrago. As far as I can tell she and I are the only ones to have posted pics so far. So, pull out those new xmas digital cameras, whip open the door (no fluffing people!) and show me what’s for dinner.

The Fishwrap Fridge.

My Big Fat Geek Christmas
I am an official member of the the Land of WAN. With my new Airport Base Station (and card) I can blog, game and surf work and be more productive - untethered by traditional confines. Now when my geek friends come to visit us in our geek house we can geek out far and wide or a least within 150ft of my office. We have to lay down one safety rule though - no laptops in the pool. While the concept of a floating desk was cool for a minute - it’s a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

As if my new wireless lifestyle wasn’t too much, I also have enough NYT Crossword books to get me through the next year or a least through March. And 3 new DVD’s: LOTR, Spiderman and Eddie Izzard.

The Road Goes on Forever and the Party Never Ends
The past week has been a total whirlwind of cocktails, food, parties, presents, food, golfing, movies and food. Did I mention food? Fuck, I’ve gained 10lbs since Thanksgiving but I’ve fairly certain that half of that is my swollen liver. So I’ve joined the new World Gym (set to open mid January) and once it opens, I vow to shed at least 20 lbs and get back into shape. But the gym ain’t open yet, and I’m no quitter - so this afternoon it’s another movie, Gangs of New York, and more drinks, dinner and mayhem with the boys afterwards. That’s the problem when you live in a popular vacation destination. Everyone here is on vacation! So I’ve unofficially given myself the week off to play and party hard. So far so good!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Have a safe and fantastic Knob Noggin’ holiday.

For those of you who do not partake of the warm christian holiday where family members get drunk and bring up that embarrassing rash you had when you were 14, I highly recommend Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers or Far From Heaven after the Kung Pow Chicken.

If you simply need get away from all this Jingle Bell Rock and slip back into your wonderful online world where everything is quiet and no one is harping about your lumpy mashed potatoes, check out Google Zeitgeist for some Web Zen.

Or try your hand at the Cheeky Girls game. I couldn’t figure out how to play it, but it involves spanking. You can never go wrong with a little spanking, even at Christmas.

Click a deer for some holiday cheer!

The 12 STD’s of Christmas.

Battleships with a bit of a twist.

Friday Night Report
No activity to report. Quiet evening at home with the missus. A fire burning, a couple of good books and a few spastic kittens demonstrating their newly honed paper sack wrangling skills. [insert lesbian cliche here]

Saturday Night Report
Mod Squad a.k.a. Mod Com Christmas Cocktail Party. Chris called around 3:00pm to confirm the location and time (his pad - 7:00), then quickly slipped in at the end “Oh, and bring a side dish!” What the hell? Is this a fucking lesbian potluck or something? Not that potlucks are inherently a bad thing, but if you have to ask…

Since I’m not much of a whiz in the kitchen, I was stumped. Is vodka a side dish? Well, maybe in Russia. So, I’m thinking like a casserole or something? This means going to the store and buying ingredients, and actually cooking something unless I wanted to show up with some Mac and Cheese with crushed potato chips on top. And these are definitely not Mac and Cheese people. At least not in public.

As I hem and haw, and discuss the side dish merits of a jar of olives with the missus, the hour of the party is fast approaching and I still have no fucking idea what do bring. We ended up stopping at Jensens Finest Foods on the way there and picking up some tomato and basil penne pasta. As it turns out - Most people, like us, interpreted his “potluck” as “bring whatever you want to eat - that is, if you want to eat” and yeah, vodka is a side dish, at least in Palm Springs.

Sunday Afternoon Report
Snow ball fight in the desert? You bet! Our buds Shan and Wendy drove up to Idyllwild, filled their pick up trucks with fresh snow and dumped it in the yard. They do this every year around Christmas when there’s a fresh snowfall. All the neighborhood kids get a big kick out of it, while us grown ups use it as the perfect excuse to sit around and drink in the afternoon.

Normally, this would be your typical lesbian potluck situation, but defying century old stereotypes, all food and drink were supplied by the hosts. We met a very cool older (mid 60’s-ish) woman named Mary - total old school butch. Gruff, witty and sarcastic, smoked like a chimney, and telling some great stories. Everything was going great, all were having a wonderful time until… Mary stands up to refill her cocoa and promptly trips and breaks her leg. No shit. Protesting the help of a few of us, she stands up, rebuffs all attempts at diagnosis or first aid gets in her car and promptly drives herself to the hospital. Damn woman, you’ve got some grit! Much to my surprise, turns out she’s a totally straight grandmother of 4. That’ll teach me. Better get the ‘ol gay dar in for an alignment.

Not So Random Holiday Memory

Even though she hasn’t mentioned it yet, I’m betting that the Missus thinks I’ve completely forgotten. But that’s not the case. It deserved it’s own post.

One Christmas, many moons ago, because work and other real life shit that happens, the Missus was unable to join me on the holiday schlep back to Michigan. I had never missed a Christmas at the old homestead and reluctantly went back without her. We would celebrate when I got back.

I was miserable the whole time. All I did was lay around moping. I must have called her 20 times. My family did their best to keep my spirits up. They were incredibly supportive, but it didn’t help much. I was one sad puppy. She even sent a dozen roses to my folks house with a card telling me how much she loved me and missed me.

On Christmas eve morning, I stumbled downstairs in my PJs and grabbed a cup of coffee. The house was quiet but this was normal. I knew my Stepdad had gone to the airport to pick up my step sister and my brother doesn’t get up until noon. But my mom was very chatty. This was not normal. We are both “2 cups before we can form words” kinda gals. And even then, it’s a while before we can actually converse coherently. When she insisted that I come try on a few sweaters that she was thinking of getting rid of, I knew either she’d downed a whole pot before I got up or something was up. But because of my caffeine handicap there was little I could do by nod and comply.

About 10 minutes and 15 sweaters later I heard the garage door open (it’s so old, I think you can actually hear it open in Ohio). Mom jumped up and said we’d better go say hello to my sister.

I walked into the living room to find my beautiful wife standing there wearing a big red bow and an even bigger smile.

Maybe it was the shock of the surprise or maybe I really am a girly girl, but I totally screamed and ran back into my folks bedroom. She had to come find me and ask if I was alright. I was better than alright, I was in heaven. Somebody pinch me. It had to be a dream. It was the best damn present I’ve ever received. And god damn my family for being able to keep such a good secret! They all knew for days and no one said a word! To this day, I don’t know how you managed it but… Thank you sugar. I loves ya!

Merry Christmas Baby! ::smooch::

Odd Todd has a Free Holiday Gift for you.

Random Holiday Memories

Two posts in one day? Jesus, you must be bored MJ…

This is just fucking brilliant. Last one to leave turn off the lights.
via irish-girl

Via the Missus - Check out the Barney Cam for a dogs eye view of a White House Christmas. Very, very cute (for a dog). And as the missus said - the best thing the republicans have done yet. Some school children may beg to differ however…
via Dargie Blithers