Archive for November, 2002

What could happen? So we’re

Saturday, November 30th, 2002

What could happen?
So we’re having a little party tonight. It being the start of the holiday season, we thought we would get ours in and out of the way early. Besides, every weekend from now until January is already spoken for. It’s not really a “holiday” party per se. We have no tree yet, there’s not a single ornament to be found around here and I refuse to put on any Christmas music. It’s still November fer pete’s sake and I’m just not ready to go there yet. But party we will. We’re expecting at least 40 people plus their guests.

There are three key ingredients to a successful party.

Numero Uno) Food and Beverage.
Ya gotta have plenty of booze with this crowd. We once underestimated their capacity and were scrambling to get ice and vodka at 1:00 in the morning. Never again. Better to have too much than not enough. We have a second standard size fridge in the garage. We kept it when we updated the kitchen appliances for just this type of situation. It’s usually unplugged but it’s extremely handy when entertaining, provided that it does its job and keeps things cold. Which it doesn’t now. Old faithful gave up the ghost last night. I discovered this after loading it with three 20 lb. bags of ice in the freezer and a case of beer, several bottles of wine and vodka. Not to mention the food platters I was going to put in there today. Hmum. Okay. Improvise. The platters should be interesting. I’m sure we’ll find a way to share shelf space with the leftover turkey, stuffing, potatoes, et al.

Numero Dos) Music.
The right mix is key. Early in the evening, people want to be able to converse but you don’t want to put them to sleep. As the night wears on, and folks are getting well lubricated, there will probably be dancing. I burned some new CDs for the party. A few fun mixes. I like to put them on shuffle so I never have to worry about changing disks. I thought I would do a little dry run last night. Just into the third song, the CD player died: the dreaded “n0 dIsk” display even though I know there are 5 disks in there. I tried a little percussive maintenance (purposeful pounding on the top of the player) to no avail. Guess I’m going to make a little trip to Rocky’s Pawn Shop this morning to pick out someone else’s “crack attack, I got no rent money, it’s not stolen officer” CD player to get us through the party.

Numero Tres) A fun group of people.
Now I know we’ve invited a great crowd, but I have no idea who is and is not coming. I’ve not heard back from many people though I know they are in town and they always come to our parties and bring guests. We always end up with about 20 more people than we invited. Unfortunately, folks around here have a bad habit of not RSVPing.

Around 8:30 I’m going to have a panic attack that no one is going to show up. AND then there’s that awful 30 minute period just before people are supposed to arrive when you are all dressed, the house is clean, everything is laid out - everything is set to go. And you have nothing to do but wait. Drum your fingers. Wander around. Wait. Taste the dip for the 5th time. Double check the lighting. Wait. Rearrange the bar ware. Re-stack the napkins. Wait. Then the first guests arrive and before you know it there are too many people and the cat has gotten into the cheese and someone is asking you where they could find more tonic and you’ve lost your cigarettes and there’s no toilet paper and it starts raining in the fucking desert.

Now that’s a party!

Pumpkin pie in the morning.

Friday, November 29th, 2002

Pumpkin pie in the morning. Life doesn’t get much better than this… all is good in the world. Except for one thing. I got a goddamn splinter last night putting a log on the fire. Right in the pad of my right pinkie. And I couldn’t get it out. So I poured another drink, put on John Maher and ate my pie. The splinter’s still there this morning. Each time I hit return or shift I curse the log. Fucking wood. A pox upon thee.

If you haven’t seen Will Ferrell’s Original Switch Ad you’ll still enjoy his holiday twist on Apple’s Switch campaign. Santa got his ass handed to him, baby.

This made me laugh so

Thursday, November 28th, 2002

This made me laugh so hard I cried. I’m going to hell… I know it.

U.S. Deploys Very Special Forces

innocent young bird dead

Thursday, November 28th, 2002

innocent young bird
dead and cooked on my table
that bastard tastes good

Thanksgiving Haiku by irish-girl

Is there a Googlologist in

Wednesday, November 27th, 2002

Is there a Googlologist in the house?

I consider myself a pretty web savvy person. I worked in the industry for many years. I started long before we had what is now “The Web” (can you say Mosaic?) and know my way around the block. When I don’t understand something - I figure it out. I ask questions. I have a question…

When you google Friday Fishwrap (yes virginia, it is a verb now) you are given a couple of options with each result. You can view the cached page or you can click on the Similar Pages link (you can also go directly to the related sites by using the “related:” search operator). Google refers to this as Google Scout: “GoogleScout can be used for many purposes. If you like a particular site’s content, but wish it had more to say, GoogleScout can find sites with similar content with which you may be unfamiliar.”

Now I did a related search for the Fishwrap and guess what showed up? While I am flattered to find myself in such good company on this page there was one exception. The third site down is troubling to me. I won’t assist in any page ranking results by referring to it here … go see for yourself. It’s pretty obvious: click here.

My question? How the FUCK are we related? Can someone explain this to me please? In layman’s terms, not mathematical mumbo jumbo about algorithms and such.

What shall we do

Tuesday, November 26th, 2002

What shall we do with a drunken sailor? Answers to this age old question and more…

I’d be laughing if it

Tuesday, November 26th, 2002

I’d be laughing if it weren’t so goddamn true…

What
lesser-known Simpsons character are you?

Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

Clickables Freaky, creepy and fascinating:

Monday, November 25th, 2002

Clickables

Freaky, creepy and fascinating: Dark Passage. Hospital Hopscotch totally creeped me out but I had to keep going!

Archaeological Collage Great concept of taking historical photographs and morphing them with current photos, same location, same angle.

Game Button Arcade Fun-ky little java script button games. I got a 9.107 on the 50 yard dash.

Paint by Numbers I’m currently working on “Homage to Kandinsky.” Of course I couldn’t start with an easy one…

Monday, November 25th, 2002

caution: sports talk ahead It

Sunday, November 24th, 2002

caution: sports talk ahead

It went from bad to worse in the blink of an eye.
I was raised in Spartan Country. My parents are both (now semi-retired) professors at Michigan State. I grew up spending every other fall Saturday tailgating with my Grandparents outside Spartan Stadium. While I did not graduate from Michigan State (I chose art over academics) I have stickers and sweatshirts and caps and THE FLAG. The missus kids me about the flag, but a few times she’s surprised me by secretly raising it on random Saturday mornings. My blood runs green folks.

Two words for the Michigan State University football season: TRAIN WRECK. While we had a smashing start, everything quickly went to hell in a hand basket and we became the laughing stock of the Big 10. Ah, reminds me of the old Northwestern University days, but at least those guys were smart.

We started out with great potential. We crushed our first two opponents (okay so they were not tough teams, duh, Eastern Michigan and Rice? But it did plant seeds of hope and aspiration). These were quickly followed by two stunning losses, UCLA and Notre Dame - followed by more losses - and then it all quickly spiraled out of control. Our quarterback, Jeff Smoker (insert joke here) is suspended for drugs and checks himself into rehab. A week later, Dawan Moss, our star tailback is arrested for drunk driving and thrown in jail for dragging a cop 20 feet with his car. Then, the powers that be fired our coach, Bobby Williams (one of only 4 African American football coaches in the NCAA) for the obvious lack of control he had over the team. Race cards are played, rumors fly… It’s not pretty. And now the cherry on top. A fitting 63-7 loss to Penn State in our final game yesterday. The worse loss in MSU history since 1922. And a 4-8 record for the season. For shame.

Thank God it’s over. Regroup the troops people! Time for B-Ball and the road to the Final Four. I know Tom Izzo has his boys under control. I wouldn’t fuck with the Iz-man kids. He’ll kick your ass.

Today it’s all about me and my DirecTV NFL Sunday Ticket. I’m going to lay around in my sweatpants, eat chips, drink beer and watch the professionals get the job done.